All Praise is due to Allah.
Marriage A Noble Tradition
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Al Quran 30:21)
Marriage is not only a social institution but through it we as Muslims actually complete our one of the most important religious obligation. It is not just a mere legal relationship between a man and a woman as a couple but it is a source of comfort, as you can express your feelings desires and wishes to a close companion. One finds peace and relaxation in each others company and marriage is much recommended by our beloved prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam).
“Narrated Anas bin Malik (radhiyallaho anhu): A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet asking how the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wa sallam worshiped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, “Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven.” Then one of them said, “I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever.” The other said, “I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast.” The third said, “I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever.” Allah’s Apostle came to them and said, “Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers).” [Bukhari]
“O you young men! whoever is able to marry should marry for that will help him lower his gaze and guard his modesty” ( Al Bukhari)
“when someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you then you should marry . if you do not do so there will be turmoil in the land and corruption.” ( Hadith no.1085, chapter of marriage, At Tirmidhi)
From the above narrations of prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) we understand that Prophet Muhammad salAllahu alayhi wa sallam discouraged us from a life of celibacy. Knowing that it is a religious duty, one must find ways from Quran and Sunnah to accomplish it, so that it is done in the most ideal way and turn out to be a source of great reward. But the sad truth is that we as the ummah of Prophet Muhammad (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) have forgotten his teachings and are light years away from his ways.
We get ourselves indulged in haraam relationship with the intention of making it halaal one day. When a person has found a suitable match then what is that which is making him/her to delay his/her marriage if both of them are totally fine with each other.
“when someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you then you should marry . if you do not do so there will be turmoil in the land and fasad.” ( Hadith no.1085, chapter of marriage, At Tirmidhi)
“Narrated Abu Huraira (RA): The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser. “[Bukhari]
Allah has given us complete freedom of choice to choose our life partners.
“marry the women you like…”(Al Quran4:3)
Nnarrated by Aisha (RadhiAllaho Anha) I asked the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam), “O Allah’s Messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam)! Should the women be asked for their consent to their marriage?” He (saws) said, “Yes.” I said, “A virgin, if asked, feels shy and keeps quiet.” He (saws) said, “Her silence means her consent. (Al Bukhari)”
Marriage is an easy act in islam but we have turned it to be complicated, and instead of taking marriage as a religious duty we now regard it as a symbol of our societal status and try our level best to make it a grand one by any means possible. We have the example of the marriage of hazrat Fatima (R) and Hazrat Ali(R) which was the most simplest one yet the most blessed one. So, the simpler the wedding is the closer it is to sunnah. But today we find all form of haraam things in our wedding like mix gathering of males and females, music at its highest volume, no arrangements for salah and unnecessary spending on large amounts of food and then wasting it which is strongly disliked by Allah.
So, we must be very careful while spending so that we attain a moderate level and avoid showing off.
“O children of Adam, take your adornment [i.e., wear your clothing] at every mosque, and eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He likes not those who commit excess.” [Al-Quran: 7: 31]
“And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate.” [Al-Quran: 25: 67]
After the proposal is done and both the bride and the groom agree, then it is followed by the nikah ceremony where the groom declairs the mahr for his bride and both agree upon each other as couple.
And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease. (Al Quran 4:4)
The reception or the wedding banquet is the next step after nikah which is highly appreciated as well as recommended by our prophet.
“Narrated by Abu Huraira The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “The worst food is that of a wedding banquet (walima) to which only the rich are invited while the poor are not invited. And he who refuses an invitation (to a banquet) disobeys Allah and His Messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam).” (AL BUKHARI)
Once the couple are married and they begin their new phase of life they should show love and compassion for each other so that the bond between them gets strong and beautiful leading to a great relationship, be it a word of appreciation or helping each other in daily household work ,which is actually the sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam)
“You never spend anything but you will be rewarded for it, even the morsel of food that you lift to your wife’s mouth.” Narrated by Al-Bukhaari, 6352; Muslim, 1628.
“Ayesha (R) reported that the Holy Prophet used to mend his shoes, sew his clothes and work in his household just as one of you works in his own house. She also reported that he was a man among men who used to patch his clothes, milk his goats and engage himself in work.”( Tirmidhi)
The prophet strongly condemned the ill treatment of women and even in his last sermon he focused on being good to women:
“The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.” (Tirmidhi)
“I command you to treat women kindly. Woman has been created from a rib (the rib is crooked), and the most crooked part of the rib is the upper region. If you try to make it straight you will break it, and if you leave it as it is, it will remain curved. So treat women kindly.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
The couple should support and encourage each other towards islam so that even in the hereafter they live together in paradise:
“Enter Paradise, together with your spouses, and rejoice” (Al Quran 43:70)
And in order to have a righteous partner we must look on our deeds and Allah will definitely grant us with pious partner:
“Unclean women are for unclean men, and unclean men are for unclean women; and pure women are for pure men, and pure men are for pure women. They are free from the slanderer’s accusations; for them there shall be forgiveness and honorable provision from Allah. “(AL Quran 24 :26)
From all these Quranic verses and ahadith we are now aware of the importance of marriage and how noble it is. So we should refrain ourselves from getting involved in the haraam relationships. If one likes a person as his/her life partner then he or she must be strong enough to speak about him or her at home and try to convince the parents with the help of an Islamic approach ,and we should always remember that no body will let us down if we are truly following the path of Allah because it is Allah who honors or dishonors us in the hearts of other people and Allah is always with the righteous ones:
“Whoever desires honor [through power] – then to Allah belongs all honor. To Him ascends good speech, and righteous work raises it. But they who plot evil deeds will have a severe punishment, and the plotting of those – it will perish.” (Al Quran 35:10)